


time

by chenkitays



Category: The Poppy War - R. F. Kuang
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Guilt, Light Angst, Platonic Soulmates, Post-Canon, Spoilers for Book 3: The Burning God
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:00:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29565075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chenkitays/pseuds/chenkitays
Summary: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE BURNING GODBefore they can make it to the afterlife, Rin and Kitay have to confront their guilt and their past in a transitionary spectral world. A few decades later, Nezha joins them. I just wrote this so that the three of them could reunite tbh because I've been in pain since november
Relationships: Chen Kitay & Fang Runin, Fang Runin/Yin Nezha
Comments: 11
Kudos: 21





	time

Rin’s guilt should be far larger than Kitay’s. She’s done all the killing. And yet he’s so stupidly morally righteous that his complicity weighs on him more than it does on her. The blood is on his hands too, he says, because he didn’t stop her. Never mind that she was so insane that she might have broken him if he had tried.

They visit Tikany first, hovering unseen over the village. They visit Auntie Fang’s old shop. It’s been destroyed, and a house has been built in its place. They’re in their own realm, unable to see the people yet able to visit the buildings and material things. Rin nods in relief at the large warehouses, filled with grain. She screams with frustration at the ugly gray churches that have been erected in each village. 

“We knew this would happen,” says Kitay as she attempts to punch a tree. Her first goes right through it. “This is the choice you made.”    
  
“What if it wasn’t the right one?” Rin shouts. 

“It is. This is the only way Nikan’s going to survive. Because it wouldn’t have survived you.” Rin throws her fist at the tree again, frustrated. She knows he’s right. But it’s still so fucking hard to see the Hesperians’ false religion taking over her country. She needs to hit something, anything. But the only thing she can touch in this realm is Kitay. “Go on,” he says, spreading his arms. Rin’s anger immediately washes away and she shakes her head. Never again. 

They travel the country. Sinegard, for Kitay to say goodbye to his dead family. He never got the chance, never had the time, but eternity yawns before them. They visit the pantheon to touch the legacy of the Trifecta. Rin makes peace with the weighted memory of Master Jiang Ziya. They go back to Khurdalain, Golyn Niis, and all of the other cities where death and destruction had reigned. Until there’s only two places left. 

Rin doesn’t want to cross the sea. She doesn’t want to confront the greatest atrocity she ever committed. She repressed it so much when she was living that she never even thought about it. But Kitay makes her. He drags her across the sea as she sobs, begging him to go back. In life she acted, he followed. She doesn’t have her Phoenix anymore, and they’re once again equals. This new dynamic is kind of unsettling, but she can’t bring herself to wish for the power that led her to nearly destroy her best friend. In a way, she’s glad for this equality. 

Or at least she is until they reach the shore of Mugen. Rin looks at Kitay with pleading eyes. 

“You won’t be able to move on without facing this,” he says quietly. “You know it.”    
  
She does. “Come with me.”    
  
He shakes his head. “I committed nearly all of your crimes with you, Rin. But not this one. This is your burden, and you have to deal with it alone.” He’s not saying it to be mean, or to punish her. He’s stating a fact. So Rin nods and wipes away her tears before stepping onto the shore. 

The ground is blackened and burned. No inch has been spared. Rin trails through the ruins of Mugenese buildings, houses, schools, temples. Not a single soul is in sight. She wonders if they’ve all moved on, or if they simply go to a different afterlife. The universe is immense: it’s highly unlikely that Rin’s gods are the only ones out there. 

She’s glad there’s no other ghosts wandering around. If there were, she doesn’t think she’d be able to keep walking. But she does. Rin makes herself walk around every inch of the island, finally understanding what Kitay means. She’s a monster. She destroyed men, women  and children indiscriminately and she  _ relished _ in it. Rin’s almost in a daze as she makes her way across the island. 

How will history remember her, she wonders. As a villain? A heroine? A goddess? Maybe all three. All Rin knew was war. Now she finally  _ knows  _ it intimately. She knows the pain, suffering and death that she caused. She sees it, walks through it. 

_ And yet _ , Rin thinks,  _ I’d do it all over again _ . 

It takes her a month to cover the entire country. Her last stop is a tiny fishing village, not far from where she and Kitay had arrived on the island. Half of it is built on water, untarnished. Footsteps lead from the ash to canoes that rest on the beachline. Undeniable signs of life. 

Rin falls to her knees, looking at the groupment of stilted houses on the lake. How many survivors? Twenty? Thirty? The last of the Mugenese. Familiar hatred for them burns in her chest, but for the first time, grief sparks. She knows what it’s like to be the last of your race. She always hated the people who cost her the Speerlies. 

These Mugenese hate her too. She closes her eyes, and accepts it. 

The daze finally breaks and tears rise to her eyes. Rin cries and shouts on the ashy sand. She screams at herself, screams at the Phoenix, at Daji, at Altan, at the Hesperians. And then she’s on her feet, stumbling across a giant pile of charred matter that used to be a forest. She can’t see through the tears clouding her eyes, but the tug in her gut pulls her towards her destination like a magnet. 

Kitay is standing by the ocean, watching her staggering run. He doesn’t say anything, just opens his arms. Rin collapses into them, sobbing and shaking. She clutches at his shirt, buries her face in his chest. She hates him for bringing her here. She loves him for the reason he did it. 

Long after her eyes dry out, Rin clings to Kitay. When she finally stops trembling, she pulls away. “I’m not sorry.” 

He brushes the tear stains off her cheeks. “I know.”    
  
And that’s enough. 

  
  
  
  
  


They make their way back to Nikan, dismayed to find that more churches have popped up in their absence. Arlong is unrecognizable. The beautiful cliff-side city, once rich with Nikara architecture, has been revolutionized and modernized. Rin shudders at the dirigible warehouse that sieges on the large plane of land where Kitay had once given her wings. But they’re not here to see that. 

The Dragon Warlord’s palace is largely the same. Rin can’t help but smile when she sees it. This preservation must be Nezha’s small defiance against the Hesperians. She wonders if he’s in the palace right now. Perhaps he’s in a meeting with advisors, negotiating with the Gray Company, tugging at those little circlets of gold on his wrists. 

But they’re not here for him either. 

The office that she, Kitay and Venka held is largely untouched. An act of sentimentality on Nezha’s part? She doubts it. Perhaps he just hasn’t gotten around to dealing with it yet. 

Tightly holding Kitay’s hand, Rin sinks down next to the spot where Venka died. Her memory of her friend is still weighed down by suspicion, guilt and regret. They sit in silence, each thinking of the Imperial Finance Minister’s daughter. 

Sring Venka. Unapologetically harsh and unwaveringly loyal. A pretty face that hid the intelligence and strength simmering beneath the surface. Quick to anger and quick to forgive. A skilled martial artist and the best archer in Nikan. Loud and confident, and Rin’s best general. Above all, her friend. Betrayal or not, Rin truly believes they had been friends. And so she closes her eyes, and utters words she never thought she’d hear herself say. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Kitay echoes her apology softly. He turns to her. “I never forgave you for this.”    
  
“I know.”    
  
“I still don’t.”    
  
“I know.” 

They sit there for a long time. 

  
  
  
  
  


Kitay’s ready to move on now, but Rin’s not. So he stays with her. Years, decades pass. They watch Nikara culture slowly get buried under the western technology. They watch as crops flourish again, as villages rebuild themselves. Rin feels a sort of bitter pride for her country. The Nikara are resilient, but not stubborn enough. But it’s enough. It has to be. 

After leading the country for forty years, Nezha finally dies. 

They’re waiting for him in Arlong. He appears outside the grotto, and Rin notes that he’s twenty again, like her and Kitay. As though his image is preserved as the last time he was truly alive. She’s struck by his beauty, even now. His silky black hair and perfect angular features. 

Kitay goes to him first, clasps his hand and doesn’t release it. Whatever he says makes Nezha smile and Rin’s heart leaps. It’s a smile of pure, schoolboyish amusement. 

The two boys talk for a long while, and finally, Kitay steps aside. Rin squares her shoulders as Nezha approaches. 

“Hello, Rin.” 

She swallows. “Hi.”    
  
“Kitay said you were waiting for me.” Rin glares around Nezha at her best friend, who grins. “I’m flattered.”    
  
“Fuck off.” Her tone is more venomous than she intended.  _ Already fighting _ , she thinks. Maybe they’re incapable of anything else. 

Nezha’s almond eyes harden. “You’re still angry at me? What’s it going to take, Rin?”   
  
She doesn’t answer. She doesn’t know. She’s spent the past fifty years craving just a glimpse of Nezha, and now that he’s here, she can’t decide if she wants to run into his arms or hit him. 

The latter seems easier. Rin swings her fist at Nezha’s cheek.  _ Damn _ . She had forgotten how good it felt to hit him, even as a ghost where he could not be injured. She punches him again. He doesn’t move. “Come on,” she says, gritting her teeth. He has to hit her back. 

A lazy smile tugs at his lips. “That’s not how I’ll win  _ this _ fight,” he says. The next time her fist goes flying, he catches it and pulls her towards him. And then he’s kissing her. 

_ Oh _ . 

His arm slides around her waist, nearly crushing her against him as his mouth claims hers. It’s awkward at first, but then Rin relaxes into it. She’s never kissed anyone, though Nezha certainly has. His touch is more gentle, more tender than anything she’s ever felt before. Rin shudders.  _ Why did we never do this when we were alive _ , she thinks. She feels a sudden urge to hit him again but as his hand cradles her throat, her jaw and his warm body presses against hers, she realizes that maybe this is just as good. Normal people don’t like both hurting and loving each other, but Rin and Nezha are far from normal. 

When he pulls away, she’s breathless. Nezha rests his forehead against hers, looking at her with either hatred, love, fear or reverence. No - she needs to stop saying  _ either _ when it comes to what they feel for each other. It’s  _ all _ . She lets her hand trail up from his shoulders, touching the cracked porcelain of his cheek, the silky softness of his hair. He’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. “See,” he says, “I win.”    
  
“Drink horse piss,” she answers, but her smile betrays her. This, maybe, she’ll let him have as a victory. It’s a victory for her too. 

“Fucking finally,” says Kitay, coming to join them. “I’ve got to say, I’m a little underwhelmed. You waited fifty years for  _ that _ \- ”

“Shut up, asshole.” Nezha reaches to the side and pulls Kitay into the hug, encircling them both with his long arms. Rin nudges her face beneath Kitay’s chin, resting the other side of her head against Nezha’s broad chest. She closes her eyes. 

The three of them are legends, whispered about around fires and made into stories for shadow-puppetry. They’re larger than life. They’re gods. And yet, Rin thinks, they’re probably the most human of all. Her anger. Nezha’s fear. Kitay’s regret. Their wretched and twisted love for each other. She never wants to let go of them.

Perhaps she never needs to. Rin draws back slightly. Their arms are all around each other, neither of them wants to step away. But she can feel that they’re ready to move on. They’re waiting for her. 

Rin’s grin comes quickly and easily. “Let’s go fuck shit up in the afterlife.” 

  
  
  
  



End file.
